Category: Idols

Identity, Idols, Uncategorized

The Fiddle Leaf Fig, Someone-Somewhere, and How They Have Changed My Views on Trendiness

by Lindsey WeatherlLeave a Comment on The Fiddle Leaf Fig, Someone-Somewhere, and How They Have Changed My Views on Trendiness

This post has been a LONG time coming. It’s been a topic of discussion for me and pretty much anyone else who would listen to me talk about it for over four months now, and has been a stress factor for me for over six weeks or so, as I have sat down multiple times to write this post until I had to give-in to the truthful, yet anxiety provoking, “You-should-be-studying-instead-of-doing-this” dialogue in my head.

However, now that my counseling exams are over (PRAISE THE LORD), I finally have the time to tweak it and finish it, so here you go.

Here are my totally random thoughts on the Fiddle Leaf Fig (yes, the indoor plant) and the person who made it cool. (Random, I know, but just hang with me for a bit.)

During the months of May, June and July, I was on the hunt for the perfect Fiddle Leaf Fig. (I would call it hunting, but my husband might call it obsession.) I knew we needed a little something green to add some more color to our overly navy and cream living room, and I knew I wanted that green to be in the form of a plant, but I also knew that we weren’t really “plant people” and that anything we bought would die, so I bought a fake one – one that looked really good online but in person was puny and crooked. (I mean, look at the picture.)

IMG_7543
I put it in one of our guest rooms where it is rarely seen.

That night, as I was expressing my feelings of Fiddle Leaf defeat to my husband, my husband looked at me and simply said, “You only want this plant because someone, somewhere decided that the Fiddle Leaf Fig was THE indoor plant to have. Someone, somewhere decided it was cool.”

Wait…what?

And then it started happening.

From that moment on, I began noticing that, in fact, every interior designer that I followed on Instagram ALSO loved the Fiddle Leaf Fig. It was on my feed constantly, and it seemed to be everywhere I went including a trendy new restaurant in Dallas, a boutique hotel we stayed at recently, and at the nursery – where it was severely over priced.

I mean, check this out…

IMG_7542IMG_7539IMG_7537

And my favorite…

IMG_7541

My husband was right.

I didn’t creatively think of the Fiddle Leaf Fig. I just followed the current trend right into obsession – and it was all because someone, somewhere decided it was cool. 

As I’ve been reflecting on it, I think this is the way most any trend is, regardless of category. Look at fashion, for example. The mid-thigh short (for men) has come back full-circle since the ‘80s. In the realm of home decorating, mid-century modern is “in,” just like it was in the middle of the 20th century (wink, wink), so everyone is redecorating. Oh, and remember the word “tight” or “tite” when it was used a synonym for cool? It’s not really a cool word anymore, but “basic” is. It’s a synonym for boring…and it was trendy as of a couple of months ago. (Sigh.)

As I’ve been reflecting on it, I’ve decided that my husband’s observation has kind of ruined my life. Everywhere I look, I now see people wearing the same things and instead of seeing a “cool trend,” I see the influence of Someone-Somewhere. And it’s really been bothering me.

For example, the other day I was walking around Target when a group of young adult females walked in. Instead of noticing their pretty smiles or admiring the fact that they seemed completely surrounded by friends (a good thing in most situations and the things that I would have noticed before this Someone-Somewhere realization), I only noticed the striped shirts and the white sneakers.

And I felt defeated and thought to myself, “Someone-Somewhere is a really powerful person and when did we start giving him or her so much influence in our lives?”

I guess the answer is that we always have.

I mean, let’s just look at our recent “hair history.” When I was in middle school, it was cool to wear butterfly clips. Every day, I would spend 20 minutes delicately placing pieces of my hair into them and then I would spray the heck out of them with hairspray – so much so that the clips would stick to my fingers when I went to take them out of my hair at the end of the day. Gross, right? But, Brittany Spears was doing it. In high school, all of the girls “scrunched” their hair. For those of you younger than me, that means you would lather up your wet hair with gel and literally scrunch your hair as much as you could until you had a crunchy mess on top of your head. Totally weird – but it was totally “in.”

There’s also a reason why people used to get married in bright blue polyester suits and ruffled white shirts but don’t anymore.

So why am I so annoyed?

Well, first off, I think I’m just annoyed by what my new perspective means about me, personally. I think I used to equate trendiness with creativity (*see note below), but now I’m seeing trendiness as the opposite. And if I wasn’t wearing black distressed denim, a camo t-shirt, and some white sneakers while writing this post, I could simply sit back in judgment of others and laugh (just kidding, obviously) – but no. I’m wearing things that might be considered “trendy” – things that Someone-Somewhere heavily recommended – so, in reality, I’m simply a follower, and, worse yet, a copier. And I hate it. I mean, really hate it.

Secondly, I’m annoyed because all of the ways I have tried to justify listening to Someone-Somewhere have failed me. For example, a few months ago, one of my friends told me, “Hey, it’s okay. I think it’s important to wear things that make you feel comfortable with yourself.” Yea, but then why am I no longer wearing the Jincos that made me feel comfortable (especially the ones that I LOVED and spent $100 of my own money on) in middle school? Or why can’t I bring myself to wear the dress I bought for a formal eight years ago to the fundraiser I’m supposed to go to next month? It just doesn’t add up. The other common thing I have heard is this: “It’s important to feel pretty because then you will probably perform better, and, in fact, you’ll be setting a positive first impression which can go far.” I can handle the second part of this statement, and I simply chalk it up to “just the way things are,” but the first part of the statement still bothers me. Why did I used to feel pretty wearing butterfly clips in my hair, but, today, those same clips would just make me feel dumb?

Ultimately, all of my rationalization has led me to this conclusion: I still deeply care about what others think about me – especially when it comes to the way I look. AND, in fact, I find some of my worth there.

How do I know that? Because I’m not going to stop wearing “trendy” things. I’m not going to wear a neon windbreaker suit unless it comes back in style (please…no), and I’m going to keep wearing my white sneakers even though everyone and their dog wears them because I have to be considered “cute,” “well-dressed,” “fashionable,” or whatever because if I am not considered these things, I will probably feel worse about myself. 

So, why am I sharing this?

I actually don’t know all of the reasons. I know part of this rant is because I believe that motives are important and that we can get lost in our pursuits unless we examine them often. But I think another reason is this: I need a change of heart.

As a believer, I know the rightful location for my identity is in the Lord. It’s not in having a house that’s well decorated or having a certain type of jeans, but the struggle is definitely real. I know, too, that my worth is not determined by how I look. I mean, God pursued me when I was trying to completely run from Him. He led me to the truth of the Gospel – that He loved me and that He wanted me to be His, that He sent his His son to die on the cross because there was absolutely nothing I could do on my own to earn salvation, and, yet, He wanted my sinful self to know Him and to experience life with Him. He led me to Himself so that I might experience His love. He found me – and you – worth all of that. 

So, why do you wear what you wear? Why do you buy the things you do? What is Mr. or Ms. Someone-Somewhere trying to sell you? Are you buying it? Does it make you worth more?

OH, and by the way, I abandoned my quest for the perfect Fiddle Leaf Fig. Instead, I bought a faux palm. My friend, who has some inside sources, told me they were going to be the “new thing.” And I love it and stare at it often.

 

* I do think there CAN BE creativity in trendiness. For example, Someone-Somewhere who decided that we should wear faux leather pants is probably a truly creative person. I’m just questioning my own creativity in following their lead. I also think that you CAN take creative liberty in following someone else’s lead, which would also fall into the creative camp. These are the moments when I feel most okay about the influence Someone-Somewhere has on me.

Culture, Identity, Idols, Life, Uncategorized

How Einstein Helped Me through My Eating Disorder…Kind Of

by Lindsey WeatherlLeave a Comment on How Einstein Helped Me through My Eating Disorder…Kind Of
einstein picture
I did not live when Einstein lived, so I obviously did not take this picture. I got it from a YouTube video called “Albert Einstein Explaining E=mc^2.” (P.S. The video is in his own voice which is pretty cool.)

I was once told an interesting story about Albert Einstein.

Ron, my 71-year-old friend, once told me that Einstein had a laboratory of white walls. As Einstein lived life, both inside and outside of his laboratory, he would think, making note of important thoughts by scribbling them down on the surface of one of his walls. Eventually, as one would expect, his walls were covered with random thoughts, equations and notes. One day, while in his lab, Einstein began examining his walls. Slowly, he began taking equations from one wall and piecing them together with other random notes from other walls until he had a simple theory we like to call the Theory of Relativity.

I like the story, because I think this is how life goes. We all have our white walls. We all try to figure out life. And we all do so by piecing together the things we have experienced with what we know or what we’ve heard from others.

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine asked me how I overcame my eating disorder. Honestly, I think it has been one of the biggest “white-wall experiences” of my life.

Overcoming an eating disorder is by no means a linear, step-by-step process, as rarely anything in this life truly is, but there were several pieces of information that made the whole thing make more sense to me. As time went on, I kept examining my white-walls, and eventually the facts that I had scribbled fit together, giving me strength and wisdom to fight the battle well.

So what were they? Here you go…

One: We all have a “natural healthy weight.” **

In our media-filled world, it is so easy to think that there is only one way we as females are to look (which as we all know, changes by the decade). When I was in middle school, it was Brittany Spears. You know, the skinny but some-what athletic look with a huge emphasis on the abs. Today, it seems to be either the super-thin Taylor Swift body type or the totally toned look of Kayla Itsines with a huge emphasis on the gap between one’s legs.

When I was in the trenches of my eating disorder, I was exhausted. Working out for an hour-and-a-half each day and restricting the food that I was eating kept me malnourished and cranky. It also kept me scared. Each dessert was a potential pound gained and each weekend away from exercising was a potential downfall. The anxiety was crippling and the inner emotional chaos was tiresome.

When I was out of college and I really started studying the idea of “intuitive eating,” I discovered just how influential genetics are to body weight. I also learned that trying to fit my naturally size [fill in the blank] body into a size zero jean was just not supposed to happen. If I wanted to run that course for the rest of my life it would mean non-stop stress and mental consumption. Learning that I had a natural healthy weight that could be maintained in natural and healthy ways was freeing…eventually.

Two: God created our bodies to be able to distinguish between hunger and fullness, and if I eat within hunger and fullness, I will be the size/weight I’m supposed to be. (Meaning, I would achieve my natural healthy weight.) **

This very simple idea was HUGE for me.

When I was in high school, my sister was a guest speaker at a conference on body weight and exercise. The basic premise of her whole talk was eating within hunger and fullness, a practice I had totally abandoned. You see, when you have an eating disorder, you learn to ignore hunger until you don’t even remember what feeling hungry feels like.

After college, when I got serious about my eating/over exercise issues, I clung to this truth. I began paying attention to hunger and fullness. (Which our bodies were designed to indicate through growling.) If I was hungry, I would eat. If I was full, I would stop. And something amazing happened: I gained weight until I stopped gaining a pound. Three-and-a-half years ago my natural healthy weight was reached, and my weight has not fluctuated and my jean size has not changed since.

Today, I try to make healthy decisions (both in the realm of food and exercise), but I ultimately eat everything in moderation. If I want pizza and I haven’t had it in a while, I’ll go for it. I eat one dessert almost every day, and I don’t freak out over bread. I’m telling you – it’s incredibly freeing.

Three: My identity is in Christ, and it’s permanent.

As humans, we walk around with an assortment of identities. Some people place their identity in being a mom, a working professional, a wife, an entrepreneur, a musician, or all of the above. For a long time, I placed my identity in what I looked like and what others thought about me. (I can still struggle with these things from time to time.) However, over the past seven years, I have come to appreciate my identity as a Christian more and more because it means that ultimately, my identity is wrapped up in Christ.

The problem with finding my identity in how I look is it’s fleeting. It’s not going to last forever. For some people, the “perfect” body can and will last until they are in their 60s, but rarely do you ever find a supermodel who is 80. Placing one’s identity in how they look is temporary. Our looks and our bodies (and most everything else in this world) will eventually fail us – it’s a proven fact.

One thing that lasts into eternity, however, is my relationship with God.

Knowing that I’m accepted by the one who’s opinion really matters has motivated me to not build my life on any foundation that is temporary. You see, God accepts me regardless of my performance (Ephesians 2:8-9), there’s nothing I can do to change the way he feels about me (Romans 8:35-39), and I seek to remember this daily.

Four: It was worth it.

Any addiction, or addiction-like behavior, only comes to an end when the addict decides that the addiction is worth giving up. If you’ve heard my story in full, you know that this moment came for me when my niece Macy was born. Instantly, a little girl was in my life, and I knew that she would be watching me. The things I idolized she would potentially idolize. The things I deemed important would probably influence her.

I did not want her to watch me struggling with food and exercise. I did not want her to think that she was defined by how she looked. And it suddenly became worth it. It was worth the extra pounds, it was worth the bigger jeans, it was worth letting go of my “super fit” image.

If I wanted Macy to be defined by anything, I wanted it to be the unwavering, never-ending love of God. A love that’s not dependent upon her performance or failures, but a love that rejoices in her unique personality and imperfections. The last thing I wanted her to do was obsess about her weight or external appearance because she saw that I did.

A lot of times we pass on our vices to the next generation, and sometimes it’s just not worth it.

I’m not saying that my nine-year battle ended in an instant, but the truths above created a formula that eventually, by God’s grace, led me to freedom. I still love working out and eating healthy, and I believe that everyone should do both, but there is a line between healthy and unhealthy and it’s not dictated by a weight, muscle mass, or pant size.

As I continue to run this race, some days are harder than others, but overtime the struggle seems to get easier. For those of you struggling, the first step is the hardest, but freedom is possible. There is hope.

** “Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works” by Evelyn Tribole, M.S., R.D., & Elise Resch, M.S., R.D., F.A.D.A. was a helpful resource in helping me think through noted topics

Culture, Identity, Idols, Thankfulness

What I learned from Alcoholics Anonymous and DJ Tanner

by Lindsey WeatherlLeave a Comment on What I learned from Alcoholics Anonymous and DJ Tanner

The mister and I arrived to Massachusetts a couple of weeks ago. After traveling across the country two times amounting up to over 80 hours in the car and living out of three houses, two apartments, and six hotel rooms in a 2-month time span, we were more than ready to be back home where we could do laundry regularly and sleep in our own bed. (Being able to find the bathroom in the in the dark is wonderful, too…it makes life easier, especially on my overly bruised legs which are sick of being hit by random things in the middle of the night.)

Since we have been here, I have been reflecting on this past year.

I remember one year ago when we first moved into our little place in Cambridge. I remember feeling so optimistic but also a bit nervous about what the year ahead would hold. I was excited to be back in Massachusetts, and prayed over our time here. I prayed that the Lord would grow the mister and I as individuals and that our marriage would be strengthened. I prayed that the Lord would use me, and that I would be willing to follow Him regardless of whether or not it seemed easy. I wondered about what our days would look like and who we would become friends with. I thought about being a student again and wondered what that would like like as a married woman. Last time I did the school thing, I was a single young adult.

Most of all, however, I wondered what people would think of me. Would they like me? Would I be accepted? I hoped so. I mean, I deeply hoped so. And this bothered me…continually…

Last year humbled me. I saw social anxiety and old insecurities resurface in ways that were both alarming and internally exhausting. Idols had taken a hold of my heart, and I was paralyzed by self-concern. At the same time, I wrestled with why I was struggling and tried everything I could to jump off of the people-pleasing, approval-needing, train I was on. I battled and I fought, but for some reason, I just couldn’t break free.

Today, as I sit here in the same place I sat one year ago, I can honestly say I am in a better place. Although I think my people-pleasing, perfectionistic, and approval-wanting desires might always be something I have to wrestle with, today I care less about what others think of me than I did a year ago. I am not struggling with anxiety, and I feel at peace about the year ahead. My thoughts do not continually go back to some image I am trying to maintain, and my heart feels more free.

So what happened?

As I reflect on the past year, I can vividly recall three events that the Lord used to dramatically reshape my thinking and reorient my heart. They were not things I sought out for change, but they were things the Lord knew I was going to come across – and I am thankful that He put them in my path.

CO711 – This random set of numbers and letters is the description number for the group process class I took this past school year. As part of the class, we had to split up into small groups and practice doing group therapy. The only premise was that we had to be the clients, and we had to be real with each other. (In case you don’t know, I’m studying to become a counselor…that’s why I take weird classes like this.) Anyways, in the group everyone opened up about their lives and the things they were struggling with, which means I opened up, too. Toward the end of the group, one of the group members encouraged me with something – and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

During our last session, one group member turned to me and said, “Lindsey, my hope for you and for me is that we would make God our glory instead of ourselves.” I was baffled. What did he mean? What does it mean to make God your glory? I spent the summer reflecting on the statement, and after many attempts to wrap my head around the meaning, I came across Psalm 62:7:

“On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.”

Making God my glory means making Him my security, my hope, and my strength. It means placing my identity in Him – as someone loved and cherished – and finding my purpose in Him and who He created me to be. It is the opposite of self-exaltation and fame for fame’s sake. It means banking on Him instead of myself. It means focusing on Him and his grace instead of my own achievements. It means laying down my own efforts to gain recognition and, instead, trusting Him when he says I do not have to earn self-worth. It means abandoning a life focused on self for a life focused on Him.

Although I knew that finding my identity in Christ was huge, this summer I engaged with the idea in a new way. I began to dream about what it might look like. I began to hope for it.

Alcoholics Anonymous – For my addictions class, I had to attend an AA meeting, and it was mind blowingly powerful. In a world that preaches self-reliance, AA seems to stand out. As I sat in the circle and listened to people vulnerably confess their inability to heal themselves, I was reminded of my own tendency to white-knuckle my way through life. I thought about my own disabilities – my inability to hold my tongue at times, my inability to calm down in certain moments when I get angry, and my inability to stop thinking about myself too much. I reflected upon my own powerlessness and my desperate need of the Lord. I left the meeting feeling encouraged but also challenged to seek God instead of myself (and my own idea of what goodness looks like). I felt motivated to stop chasing the world and what it wants of me and began praying that Lord would help me fix my mind and heart on Him.  As the leader of the group blatantly said in his testimony, “[You] have to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and focus on [your] relationship with God.”

It was a stunning experience.

Full House Documentary –  A couple of nights before the mister and I left for Boston we were watching a Full House documentary with my mom. I listened as the narrator covered each character one-by-one and explained what the different stars are known for and what they had become. When they got to Candace Cameron-Bure (DJ Tanner), they made one statement that caused me to reflect upon my own life. Some narrator who was wearing big glasses looked at the camera and said, “Candace is probably equally known for her faith as much as she is her career.” As we drove back to Massachusetts, I could not get the narrator’s words out of my mind. Although I can’t say that I know all of Candace’s stances on theology, and I’m sure we don’t agree on everything, I appreciate her. I appreciate the fact that she stands out in the midst of an industry that praises moral relativism and fame. I admire her boldness and honesty in the midst of people who disagree with her. I mean, it takes a lot of strength to stand up for what you believe in when what you believe is not popular. It’s a lot easier to sway for the sake of acceptance.

Candace reminds me that it is possible. It is possible to delight more in God’s never-ending love and less in the world’s temporary praise. And for someone who can struggle with seeking acceptance over God’s glory, this is both refreshing and challenging.

Last year was a whirlwind, but I’m thankful for it. Last year proved to me that I am so incapable of being the person I want to be alone. I desperately need the Lord’s help. I need his refinement, his gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) reminders, and his comfort. I need his help. I need his assistance if I ever hope to fix my thoughts on Him and the things that really matter in this life.

When I look back on where I was a year ago, I am thankful. I am thankful for a God who is powerful enough to change minds and hearts and for a God who is worthy of our praise. I am also thankful that He uses the weirdest things to shape us.

Cheers to another school year!

“Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” – Psalm 105:3-4

Contentment, Culture, Identity, Idols, Life, Thankfulness, Trust

The Beauty of Psalm 5

by Lindsey WeatherlLeave a Comment on The Beauty of Psalm 5

Psalm 5 is absolutely beautiful.

The Psalm provides a stunning picture of David’s vulnerability and need for God. The Psalm is a prayer – and throughout it, David reminds himself of truth and praises God for his steadfast love (v.7), His ability to provide refuge (11), and for the blessing God brings to those who trust in Him (v. 12).

My favorite part of the Psalm, however, comes in verse 8. Here, David cries out to the Lord for help:

“Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your way straight before me” (ESV).

This prayer resonates with my heart.

My enemies may not be physical people, but I have some enemies.

Comfort tempts me to stick to my own schedule, my own plan, instead of submitting to God. My idol of acceptance lures me to alter who I am or what I think so that others will accept me more. Anger tries to convince me that relief is found in release, instead of remembrance of truth and words of love. Lies and negative self-talk seek to make me feel bad about myself – to disorient and distract me from the truth of who I really am in Christ. Security tries to convince me that money matters more than surrender, and discontentment aims to fill my mind with pessimism. Anxiety plays with me so that I seek refuge in myself, and my own clinched fists, instead of trusting God. Fear tempts me to stop moving so that I am stuck in places that are old, stale and dry. Loss begs me to despair.

You see, my enemies may not be people, but I have enemies. And sometimes they are fierce.

I’m thankful for David – for his truth, his boldness, and his confidence in God. You see, I think David got it.

“But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house.” – Psalm 5:7 (ESV)

David didn’t do anything to deserve God’s love. It wasn’t based on the good he had done, the skills he had been gifted with, or the successes he would have in the future. In fact, David did a lot of really bad things. He committed adultery, he murdered an innocent man, he lied, and, at times, he was gripped by passivity to the point of being an absent father and king.

Yet, David was covered by the grace of God. He rejoiced in the love of God and that love gave him the security he needed to cry out – to pray for rescue.

How easily I forget.

As Christians, we are not alone in fighting our enemies. We have a God who loves us, and because of that, we can boldly approach Him.

“Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your way straight before me.” – Psalm 5:8 (ESV)

Cry out, remember, and trust. He can help. Exhale.

Culture, Identity, Idols

Exercise and Motives

by Lindsey Weatherl2 Comments on Exercise and Motives

It’s snowing in Boston…again.

In fact, it hasn’t stopped snowing. We have officially received over 60.8 inches within the past 30 days, breaking the record for snowfall set in 1978 (http://www.wcvb.com). It’s been insane…and cold…and wet…and kind of annoying.

You see, I’m from Texas, which means a multitude of things, but mainly, it means I’m used to warm weather. It also means I’m not used to snow blocking my sidewalk, burying my car, or keeping me indoors for hours on end. I’m not used to my gym being closed or having to put eight layers on before I venture outside. The struggle is real, y’all. And if I’m being honest, it’s awful.

Because of the things mentioned above, I have been running the stairs of our apartment complex for exercise. It’s gross outside, my gym is closed, and I need something to do, so why not?

This morning, I rolled out of bed, did some laundry, and then contemplated what I was going to do with the rest of my day. School was cancelled again, but I still had a couple of hundred pages to read for my class tomorrow. On top of that, I was incredibly tired and did not feel well. Still, out of habit, I veered toward my athletic shorts. As I contemplated running the stairs (again), a feeling of dread began to drift over me. As I put my shorts on, I stopped to think:

Why am I doing this?

Sure, I need exercise, but I don’t feel well at all.

I pushed forward and put on my tennis shoes.

Okay…really…why am I doing this?

I mean, I have worked out every day for the past two weeks. Do I really need to exercise today when I don’t feel well, and I am behind on school work?!

As I reached for my ear buds, I heard my sister’s voice inside of my head telling me exercise won’t save me, and I took my shoes off.

As many of you know, I struggled with an eating disorder and addiction to exercise for nine years of my life. Because of this, I have had to set up some pretty stern boundaries around exercise and food. With food, the rules are decently clear – eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full, and focus on food with nutritional content understanding that moderation is important. With exercise, however, my boundaries are extremely motivationally based, and are therefore a little hazier.

I mean, motives themselves can be hazy. Why do we do the things we do? Are we doing them for ourselves? For others? Or a mixture of both?

Anyways, this all leads me to my point…

Motives are powerful.

They lead us to make decisions about whom to date, whom to hang out with, what activities to pursue, and how to spend our free time. They help us decipher which colleges to attend, which jobs to take, and whether or not we should have kids. These things are good, perhaps, but they can also push us in some weird directions, if we are not careful.

Why are you doing what you’re doing? Why are you dating that guy or that girl? Why are you hanging out with that group of friends? Why do you spend your time pursuing the activities that you do? What is your goal?

During my recovery, I realized my addiction to exercise and my obsession with calories was rooted in my desire to be accepted. I wanted others to approve of how I looked, and I thought that if I felt accepted by others, I would feel okay about myself.

Basically, I realized that wrong motives can turn good things into bad things.

I think to some extent we have all realized this.

Ice cream is great until we seek it for comfort and we eat too much. Pushing our kids to do well in school is the right thing to do, but then we realize we are doing it because it makes us look good, too. We date, which is normal, but then we realize we are dating some guy, even though he’s not the best, because we are fearful of being alone.

It happens. Motives move us.

I don’t know where you are. You may be making wonderful decisions based upon relatively good motives, and are enjoying the freedom that involves. But I think I’m safe in saying, most of us aren’t there. In fact, many of us are probably doing things in order to be accepted, loved, comforted, appreciated, affirmed, or praised and feel trapped because we fear losing the acceptance, love, comfort, appreciation, affirmation, and praise those things bring us, if we were to stop.

Again, the struggle is real.

Every day I have to remind myself that I’m accepted by the one whose acceptance really matters (Galatians 3:26, Psalm 139, Psalm 27:10, Ephesians 1:13-14). I have to remind myself that He is a God of comfort, (John 16:33, Romans 15:13, Philippians 4:6-7), and that He provides life (Isaiah 44:1-3, Acts 17:25, John 1:3-4).

Two things last forever: the hearts of men and the word of God.

Your motives may lead you to seek a variety of things thinking that they will save you – they will give you acceptance, true meaning, or whatever.

The problem is the things won’t last, and they won’t fix you.

Your Lamborghini is going to break. Your hair will gray. Your skin will sag. Plastic surgery will stop working. Your money may lose its value. Your kids will grow up.

Then what?

Motives are powerful – and sometimes they push us to find meaning in things that were never intended to provide it.

What are you banking on? Why are you banking on it? Will it last forever?

For nine years I believed looking a certain way was the answer. I thought it would give me meaning and the acceptance I was looking for. Today, I can still struggle with believing that lie. But the truth is no matter how hard I try, no matter how strong the motives…

Exercise can’t save me. It was never designed to.

***Special thanks to Pete Briscoe and his sermon over idols for reminding me to think though my own.***

Culture, Idols, Life

The Potential Inner Danger in Keeping All of the Outer Rules

by Lindsey WeatherlLeave a Comment on The Potential Inner Danger in Keeping All of the Outer Rules

To be honest with you, I don’t really have a lot of time to spend on this post. In fact, I’ve been struggling to find time to anything lately, which has put me in a really weird spot in a lot of areas, but I did want to share with you something I’ve been meditating on for a while.

Over the past 5 months I’ve been reading and studying the book of Mark.

In June, when I was trying to decide how I was going to spend my time in the Word, I decided that I needed to know more about the person and work of Jesus. I mean, Christianity is supposed to be about following him, right? I felt as though I had a lot of big decisions to make and as the mister and I were about to walk into a new chapter of our lives (studenthood), guidance was desperately needed.

As I’ve read through its pages, my jaw has been on the floor multiple times. Jesus was quite the controversial figure. Through all of the passages and all of the stories, one truth has stood out the most to me…

Following Jesus is not just about what you do – it’s about the condition of your heart.

Mark 13:38-40 displays this quite clearly:

Jesus says, “Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes and like greetings in the marketplaces and have the best seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at feasts, who devour widows’ houses and for a pretense make long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.”

Hold the phone! What? Let’s rephrase this:

“Beware of those within the church who seek to draw attention to themselves by exalting their own biblical knowledge, who enjoy the praise and fame they get from others around town, who think of themselves as better than others at church and at social gatherings, who only care about their own needs, and who say long and eloquent prayers for the sake of looking holy.” (My own interpretation)

“They will receive the greater condemnation” (Mark 13:40).

But isn’t being religious all about what we do? Isn’t it about reading the word of God, going to church and saying long and eloquent prayers? Isn’t it all about avoiding sex before marriage, not cussing, and wearing modest clothing? Isn’t it about not making any big mistakes externally? Isn’t it about showing others how obedient you can be?

The scribes seemed to have it altogether, too.

They worked hard to gain their position within the church. They tried to obey every rule and appear to be as holy as possible. However, this meant that their faith was in themselves, and their hope was in what others thought of them – not in the Lord.

Obviously, those who truly trust in the Lord tend to walk in certain ways. This is why James proclaimed, “faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead” (James 2:17). I believe that those who have a heart set on God will abide by his word and seek to live a life of love and purity, but the point is, their heart is set on God. Their heart isn’t set on a list of rules they have to keep, it’s set on the gratitude of the cross and the grace of God which moves them toward a place of inner and outer obedience – not white knuckled self discipline.

Lately, I’ve felt so confused by the theological differences of those around me. I’ve wondered how can we all read the same book (the Bible) and land in different spots on various issues. I’ve been wrestling with Paedobaptism (baptism of infants) and neo-baptism (baptism of adults), the biblical view of how a church is supposed to be run. I’ve been trying to find the right answers…but in the process, I’ve ended up farther away from the point of the whole thing…

Jesus.

It’s not about what I know or what I think I know. It’s about love. It’s more about my heart than it is my hands.

“The most important [commandment] is, ‘Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment great than these” (Mark 12:29-31).

Following Jesus isn’t about knowing everything. It isn’t about appearing to be perfect. It’s not about pretending. It’s not about making sure you abide by certain rules such as not having sex outside of marriage, not cussing, or devoting yourself to continual boundry-less service. It’s about getting messy with the maker the Universe. It’s about placing your heart under the umbrella of his grace and allowing that grace to change you. (Which will probably lead you to a place of joyfully or trustfully following his commands.)

I don’t know where you are, but wherever you are, take comfort in the fact that Jesus came to save and heal the sick, not those who think they are well (Mark 2:17).

Where is your heart? Are you concerned about impressing others or are you sitting under the care of God? Are you endlessly striving to perform a certain ritual of good deeds while ignoring the arrogance and pride inside of yourself? Are you looking at the sins of others and thinking you’re not that bad after all? Do you get overly focused on what you know theologically instead of loving others?

My heart has a way of getting twisted sometimes…

Exhale. Rest. You don’t have to be perfect. Confess your shortcomings; don’t try to hide them. God loves you. He cares about you. He can heal any addiction, pain, hurt, hang-up, or deep seeded issue that resides in your heart.

Praying that I have a heart that is set on Jesus, not on myself, or my own glorification.

Identity, Idols, Life, Trust

Cambridge Living and the Art of Balancing it All

by Lindsey Weatherl1 Comment on Cambridge Living and the Art of Balancing it All
Please excuse my outragiously large key collection. I'm a fan of keychains.
Please excuse my outragiously large key collection. I’m a fan of keychains.

In case you missed it (we’re not THAT cool, so you probably did)…

The mister and I arrived to our home in Cambridge, Massachusetts on August 14th. I think we expected a little down time before school started, but from day one things have been pretty…um…insane.

In the past 3-and-a-half weeks we have been to IKEA 4 times (I will never go back again), unpacked what seems like 800 boxes, started school, attended 3 major HBS events and over 9 dinners, and have hosted a little shindig in our home. We’ve met people from Argentina, South Africa, China, Denmark, Russia, the Ukraine, and all sorts of other places! It’s been utterly chaotic.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love our new friends, I am thrilled to have our own place, and I actually, for one of the first times in my life, feel as though we are right where we should be (which is amazingly peaceful). The transition has just been a little more difficult than anticipated.

Things have been moving fast, and the mister and I have been trying to figure out how to balance it all.

Recently, this dilemma has led me to ask myself a couple of important questions:

Who am I? And what type of person do I want to be?

Now, before I keep going, I need to let you in on one thing: Caleb’s grad school is HIGHLY social. (I cannot emphasize this enough.) Every night there are at least two events or gatherings that people can take part in. On top of that, it is highly recommended that you participate in most (if not all) of the events because you don’t want to miss out on building relationships. Business school is all about networking, right?

Anyways, it keeps us quite busy and makes us feel pressure to run faster than we want to – or faster than we probably should.

Okay…back to it.

A couple of weeks ago, there was a big event for Caleb’s school. Since we had been going like crazy for two weeks straight, and had several other events that same weekend, Caleb and I decided that it was probably best to decline the offer and rest a little bit.

I freaked out.

“What if we don’t make friends?! What if we are left out of the next event?! What if we become loners?! What if life moves on without us?! We are SUPPOSED to go to everything.”

Caleb calmed me down, and I started thinking…

Who am I? Who do I want to become?

Here’s what I came up with:

Who am I?

  • I am a child of God, meaning I am accepted by Him. He doesn’t look at me and say, “Lindsey, you need to get your act together and do ‘this or that’ so that I approve of you.” He approves of me already. He chose me before the beginning of time to know Him and walk with Him. God, the King of the Universe, accepts me. That’s big. (Ephesians 2:11-22; Romans 8:38&39; Ephesians 1:3-10)
  • I am loved by a good God. The God I follow is worthy of my trust. He holds the world in his hands and works within it for his glory and the good of those who love him. If God is for me, who can be against me? He’s in control, he’s good, and he loves me. What should I possibly fear? (Isaiah 41:10; Romans 8:28-37; Lamentations 3:25; Proverbs 19:21)
  • I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a peer, and a student. I am a woman trying to figure out how to walk with God, love others well, and spend my time wisely.
  • I am a woman who forgets all of these things often and ends up making the things of this earth god. (And may I note that every time I do this, I end up being let down.)

What type of person do I want to be?

  • I want to be someone who loves those around me well and isn’t concerned with being friends with a million people. Friends are a gift. My family is a gift. I can love a small number of people well, but beyond that, I’m incapable. (James 1:22)
  • I want to be someone who lives with a sense of inner peace because my hope and identity are placed in Christ, and not in this world or the circumstances it brings. (Romans 5:1; Colossians 3:15; Romans 5: 2-5; Proverbs 10:28; Romans 15:13)
  • I want to be a restful person, or a person who isn’t stressed out because I have too much on my plate. I want to have enough time to breathe and seek God so that I can enjoy others without thinking about myself, or my to-do list. (Matthew 11:28-30; Luke 5:16)
  • I want to be a good wife. I want to carve out time so that my husband and I can enjoy each other, build into each other, and both seek the Lord through his word and prayer. I want to love him well, and in order to do so I must have time and energy.
  • I want to be free. Free from addictions, obsessive worries, and idols. I want to trust the Lord with everything within me. (Galatians 5:1; 1 Peter 2:16; Galatians 5:13; John 10:10; Philippians 4:6&7)

So what now?

The truth is, I can’t do it by myself.

Jeremiah 17:5&6 reads like this: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an inhabited salt land.”

The person I want to be requires prayer, thought and effort. It takes relying upon the Lord’s grace to silence the idols of this world (acceptance of others, people’s praise, worry, control, money, worldly and temporary success, and popularity), and remembering that God can be trusted and He knows what’s best for me. It’s remembering that the world can be deceiving, but in Christ there’s life that is true and thirst quenching.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” – Jeremiah 17:7&8

My point in all of this is this: sometimes when life starts moving quickly, you have to stop and reflect on the type of person you want to be.

We only get one shot at this “life-on-earth” thing, and if we aren’t careful, we’ll keep sprinting until we’re completely lost. We’ll keep moving along with the world around us listening to its tunes, and eventually, we’ll lose track of who we really are and what’s important to us.

Life keeps moving whether or not we are prepared.

Stop. Exhale. Think.

Who are you? What type of person do you want to be?

Cambridge is great. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be here and am so thankful for the path the Lord has allowed us to walk down. I love our friends and the process of making new ones. I’m grateful for my school and for Caleb’s and for the ways in which God has already provided for us here. Peace is a wonderful thing, and I am affirmed through it that we are right where we should be. This doesn’t mean, however, that it will be free of struggles and hardship. My prayer through it all is that we will be true to who we are (to who God created us to be) – and that we will be open to Him. I know He’s going to use our time here to mold us and shape us. May we depend upon Him and trust Him in the process.

Here’s to the next two years, to God’s grace, and the peace that only He can provide!

Idols, Life

Europe: What I Learned from “David” and a Train Station Bathroom

by Lindsey WeatherlLeave a Comment on Europe: What I Learned from “David” and a Train Station Bathroom

On Friday the Mister and I returned from Europe.

After two-and-a-half weeks of seeing places like London, Rome, Florence, Sestri Levante, and Milan, we were exhausted and ready to be back on American soil. Don’t get me wrong – the trip was amazing! I had a blast hanging out with family and enjoyed learning about each place’s history and culture, but there’s nothing quite like sleeping in your own bed and eating food you are familiar with. I truly am a creature of habit.

As I’ve been reflecting on the trip, I have to say the Lord really used it to encourage and challenge my heart. In the midst of fighting jet lag (I’ve been going to bed around 8:30pm and waking up around 4:30 each morning since we’ve been back), I’ve had some time to think. I would say there are two experiences on the trip that seem to have had a deep impact on me:

Seeing David:

When I was attending Watermark Community Church as a single adult, one of the pastor’s there told the story of Michelangelo sculpting his masterpiece, “David”. His story, though short, was one that I have always carried around with me. He said that someone once asked Michelangelo how he sculpted David so intricately. Michelangelo’s answer, though not scientific or mathematical, was astounding. He simply responded, “I just chipped away all that did not look like David.”

"David" (Sorry for the 'over exposure.' I just wanted you to be able to see him a little clearer.)
“David” (Sorry for the ‘over exposure.’ He’s just so magnificent…I can’t help myself.)

The pastor went on to explain that God does the same thing to those who follow Christ. We are not perfect, in fact we are deeply broken, but the Spirit of God through his great love and compassion for us, works in us to create a beautiful masterpiece. How does God do it? He simply chips away all that does not look like Christ in us.

Romans 8:29 reads, “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…”

Sometimes I feel defeated. I look at my heart, and I am aware of just how unlike Jesus I am. I’m selfish. I love the things of this earth that are so fleeting and dumb. I care about how other people see me in areas that are superficial. I can be impatient and ungrateful. I can be quick to speak and hesitant to love.

I’m broken and am in desperate need of God’s grace.

The Mister and I standing in front of "David"
The Mister and I standing in front of “David”

“David” reminded me that God is still working. He’s moving in my heart. He is above my sin and more powerful than any shortcoming I possess. He can change the parts of my heart that I hate – the parts of my heart that don’t represent him well.

I sure love that about him.

Peeing in a hole:

Yes. I know this is a weird one, but it’s true.

One day, the mister and I missed our train to Cinque Terre and were left at the train station for an hour or so. Part of me was bummed that we were going to waste part of our day sitting on a bench in an Italian train station, but most of me was mad that I had to use the toilet there…again.

It was gross.

Basically, the woman’s bathroom consisted of a variety of stalls all containing porcelain foot holders and a porcelain hole. There wasn’t a seat or any sort of basin to catch anything, so I was probably standing in all sorts of good stuff. By the third time I went (yes…I go a lot), my legs were burning from squatting and I couldn’t shake my bad attitude. I thought about my time in Haiti and how anything besides a dirt hole was a luxury, and then I thought about America.

As I wrestled with my own ungrateful heart and the frustration of the situation, I was reminded of how easily every day comforts cause me to forget about those in other places.

The truth is, a lot of people in this world don’t have toilet seats. They sleep on dirt floors and probably go to bed with growling stomachs. A lot of people can’t even read because they have to work instead of going to school, and a lot of people have a hard time finding fresh water…which I bathe in.

I guess what I’m trying to say (or write) is that maybe I’m too out of touch.

I think as a Christian, I’m called to be willing. Every person is led or called to do different things with their life, and therefore paths are going to look different, but I think the question I wrestle with is this: Am I willing?

If I was called to some foreign country that did not provide the comforts that some of us have in America, would I be willing? Would I be willing to sleep on dirt floors and eat “weird” food, if it’s for the sake of the Gospel?

Would I be willing to pee in holes?

I don’t know what my life is going to look like apart from today. I may never live in a foreign country or do anything extreme, but who knows!

It’s just something I’m wrestling with, I guess.

Wherever you are, look for the lessons around you. As I’m getting older, I’m becoming more and more aware that each moment is more than just a moment.

Life is short. We only have one shot at living it wisely. Cheers!

 

Oh yea! AND P.S. My mom’s Birthday is tomorrow! Happy Birthday, mom!

Identity, Idols, Life

Rich Mullins, “Ragamuffin,” and Why I Want to Go Barefoot

by Lindsey Weatherl3 Comments on Rich Mullins, “Ragamuffin,” and Why I Want to Go Barefoot
Image
Photo creds to newsfeed.time.com

Last night, the mister and I watched a movie about the life of Rich Mullins called “Ragamuffin” – and I’m hoping it was life changing.

Now, if you’re like me, Rich Mullins is a foreign name to you. I didn’t grow up listening to Christian music (in fact most of my life I’ve found Christian music to be super cheesy and poorly written) and none of my friends did either. The first time I heard the name Rich Mullins was actually in the summer of 2007, while on staff working at Sky Ranch Camps. One of my co-counselors was deeply inspired by him, and she listened to his music often. So, basically, until last night, I knew nothing about the life of Rich Mullins. In fact, the first thing I said when we bought the movie was something along the lines of, “Wow! It sounds like he lived a pretty edgy life. I always figured he was some straight-laced, cookie-cutter Christian.” Judgmental, I know.

Without going into too much detail, or ruining the movie for anyone who’s interested in watching it, Rich lived a life dominated by haunting memories of verbal abuse, heartbreak, alcoholism, and desperate loneliness. He had a battle to fight with his past, and he always seemed lost in his present.

So why can’t I stop thinking about his life today? Why have I, within the last 18-hours, downloaded two of his albums? Why can’t I stop singing his songs in my head? (Maybe it’s because he never wore shoes, and I want to be cool like him and never wear shoes either….no…well…kind of.)

It’s because his story reminds me that struggling isn’t always a bad thing. Rich never lived a perfect life (in fact, he was almost opposed to rules), but his mind was continually on where the Lord had him and what he could do to be used by Him. His ambition wasn’t in money, fame, or “religiosity” – it was simply in knowing he was loved by God and showing others that they were, as well.

So as I sit here today, I’m awe-struck. I mean, I wish I was like him (in the most feminine way, of course). He genuinely cared about others, and he genuinely didn’t care about “success” on this earth or what others thought of him. He walked around barefoot most of the time because he had given his shoes to someone in need. He was a multi-millionaire, yet he only let his accountants pay him the average American salary each year, so that he could give the rest away. When he died, he didn’t even know how much money he had made. Better yet, he didn’t even care.

I know some of this may seem like some emotional rant, but seriously – can you imagine living this way?

As I stood in line at Subway this afternoon, I prayed that I would see those around me as precious people made by God. I prayed that I wouldn’t get caught up in financial gain or in being perfect. I prayed for half of the mindset that Rich Mullins had.

In America, it’s hard to not get caught up in the rat race. The big house, the cute clothes, the financial “security”…it’s all alluring. Unfortunately, it’s hard to give up. If I am being honest, I think I’m losing the here – and I hate that. I mean, let’s be honest. Who the heck cares? What really matters? I mean, REALLY matters? It’s not my education, though it is good to be able to think intellectually. It’s not my car, though I’m thankful for it. It’s not my ability to perform socially, though being polite and respectful is of great importance. It’s not some future dream I have for a flexible job, creative kids, and a secure life, for I was reminded last night that most of the time our dreams are too shallow.

It’s knowing that God loves me and allowing that love to free me to love others and Him recklessly. The only things that live forever are the hearts of men and the word of God. That’s what matters.

“Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in your beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere around you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken.” – Rich Mullins

This may seem like some “high” I’m on, but I hope it’s not. I pray that even though I’m continually being lured in by comfort and “normalcy,” by the grace of God I can resist and live life in a way that’s focused on what really matters.

I watched the movie, and I hope it changes my life.

Contentment, Idols

Kacey Musgraves, Magazine Covers, and the Deception of Happiness

by Lindsey WeatherlLeave a Comment on Kacey Musgraves, Magazine Covers, and the Deception of Happiness

Image

Anyone who knows me could tell you I am a genuine Country Music junkie.

Unfortunately, possibly because of my natural bent, I am attracted to the more rebellious songs within the genre. (For example: Johnny Paycheck’s “Take this Job and Shove It,” Tim McGraw’s “Indian Outlaw,” Garth Brooks’ unedited version of “The Thunder Rolls,” and Miranda Lambert’s “Heart Like Mine.”)

Recently, however, a song has emerged from a very talented – and pretty hip – young artist named Kacey Musgraves that has caused my head to spin.

The name of the song is “Follow Your Arrow,” and although it’s a catchy tune, the lyrics are quite controversial. Here’s a snapshot of the chorus:

“When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don’t
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points.”

The song plays off of all of the hypocrisies we experience in life (which is pretty brilliant), but the application of the song is…um…well…I’ll get to that in a bit.

A couple of weeks ago, the Mister and I were in line at Wal-Mart, and, in efforts to waste time, I started checking out the front pages of the magazines stuffed in the display rack.

“Us Weekly” highlighted a Kardashian divorce and another Kardashian’s engagement. “People” advertised its interview with a musician about her recent separation, and the magazine next to it displayed Barbara Streisand and her, speculated, future ex-husband.

My heart broke – and I immediately started thinking about my own life.

You see, I haven’t always had a relationship with the Lord. There was a time when I did everything and anything that I wanted to (or tried to), and it left me with a since of emptiness deep down inside. It was dark, lonely, and depressing. Sure! I had friends – and I enjoyed some of the things I dabbled in, but my heart felt sick.

All I wanted was to be happy, but nothing seemed to satisfy.

When I TRULY trusted in the Lord (who He was, what He did, and what that meant for me) toward the end of high school, my life slowly started to change, and, by God’s grace, I began to find my definition in Him and how He created me to live. Today, I’m really different than I once was.

In this process, I found that happiness existed, and it was wonderful when it did, but because of its fleeting nature, it was not worth worshiping. Even in the midst of difficult circumstances, the Lord promised peace and assurance that He knew what was going on and that He would provide for all of my needs. I didn’t have to strive to obtain all that I “wanted” in this life because in Christ I found a hope that went beyond circumstances.

I never had this kind of comfort before I got to really know God.

So, what’s my point?

As I stared at the people on the front of those magazines, I realized that I’m not much different than them. Even though I know the Lord, it’s easy for me to give into what this culture feeds me.

You see, we are told to seek what we want, and do what we want, as long as it makes us happy. Happiness is the goal – and anything you give up in pursuit of it is well worth it. Unfortunately, when I look at my own life, actions and thoughts, I see traces of where I’ve already sold myself out to the lie:

 “I know I really shouldn’t say this, but I’m going to because it’s going to make me feel better.” OR “If only I could land that job, then I would happy.”

Happiness seems like a cool concept. We seek it out in almost everything we do. We think if we do what we want, when we want to do it, life will be just the way we want it to be.

However, there are two flaws in this theory:

First, can we all get what we want when we want different things? (Meaning, we can’t all be happy at the same time.)

Often times, our belief in “happiness” takes away from the “happiness” of others. We hold the flag, yelling “HAPPINESS FOR ALL,” but it’s simply impossible.

People show off their middle finger to people in traffic because it makes them feel better about their current situation, even though it makes the recipient of the finger unhappy. Neighbors keep their yelping dogs outside because they want to be able to do what they want with the animals they bought, adopted, or brought in, but it causes others to lose sleep and, therefore, be unhappy.

I want to listen to my music louder than the person next to me at every red light – but it makes the person next to me mad.

Secondly, happiness isn’t permanent.

My cute clothes, which currently make me happy, are, more than likely, not going to fit in a few years. That race you’re training for, more than likely, won’t be a possibility when you’re 90. The car you drive, the house you’re building, the kids you live for, and the new diet you’re totally “crushing” are all awesome – they just won’t bring you happiness forever. They will all, at some point, disappoint you.

“As a thief is disgraced when he is caught, so the house of Israel (a group of people who were set apart to worship the Lord) is disgraced – they, their kings and their officials, their priests and their prophets. They say to wood, ‘You are my father,’ and to stone, ‘You gave me birth.’ They have turned their backs to me and not their face; yet when they are in trouble, they say, ‘Come save us!’ Where are the gods you made for yourselves? Let them come if they can save you when you are in trouble!” – Jeremiah 2:26-28

You see, happiness can’t save us.

In fact, happiness flies out the window whenever the thing we want to be saved from happens. With the smallest bump in the road, it’s gone. Happiness is a roller coaster – some days it’s there and other days it’s not. Although we want to be happy all of the time, we simply cannot be.

We want happiness to be our emotional state all of the time. We want happiness to be our security – the thing we run to in efforts to find life. We want it to last forever.

We want to be what it was never intended to be – we want it to be God.

What does all of this mean? If happiness can’t be had by everyone at the same time, then what? If happiness isn’t constant and can easily crash to the ground, then what’s the point?

Perhaps, we weren’t made for happiness. Maybe, what we were created for is MUCH bigger.

Only God is certain. He created life, so we can trust Him when we need to know how to live it. Yes! He allows us to enjoy life, and experience feelings of happiness, but He also lets us know that there will be hard times:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, time to plant and a time to uproot…a time to mourn and a time to dance.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1,2 &4

He also says that He provides peace and joy – both of which can exist, even when life gets rough.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:4-7“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” – James 1:2 and 3

Sure. I can try to buy what I want to buy so that I feel happy. I can try to climb the corporate ladder to prove myself to others – and feel happy about it. The truth is, however, these things won’t last forever.

The promise that in Christ, I’m enough, and by his blood I’m saved is the truth. It’s worth banking on because it will never fail me.

There will be one day when He will wipe away every tear from our eyes – but that day doesn’t happen until heaven. And in heaven, the word “happiness” won’t even come close to describing what we will feel. It will be “happiness” off of the charts.

Today though, happiness is only temporary…and not universal.

The people on the front of the magazines at Wal-Mart got married because they wanted to be “happy,” but then they filed for divorce. Why? Because they wanted to be “happy” – even if the other person in the party is left in despair. (Please see the note at the bottom of this post.*)

Happiness is not permanent – so why do we worship it?

We have a purpose in this life, and it’s much bigger than what the world tells us.

Kacey, you say that my happiness, regardless of what it causes others, is what matters most, but I’m not buying it. Feel free to “follow your arrow wherever it points,” but I’m going a different direction.

“The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”  – 1 John 2:17

(P.S. This post is IN NO WAY meant to bring down Kacey Musgraves. In fact, I think she is one of the most talented writers out there right now. I’m simply noting that we seem to have different approaches in the way we think through life.)

* Obviously, I don’t know why everyone gets divorced. At the same time, I know that I am fully capable of making decisions that would lead me down the same path. I also know that some people get divorced because their own life is in danger due to abuse. If you are being abused, please seek help. (http://www.thehotline.org/)

Photo taken from huffingtonpost.com